Anal Bleaching and…Love?

Anal bleaching and love: these are two terms that, together, most people would think are a joke. Well, it isn’t. If you are following my blog, you’d know by now that this is my niche service and I have been offering it for years. So, I have a clue or two as to the type of client that will call me requesting this service, and I can even tell you *when* they will call me to schedule an appointment.

The first thing that my non-industry (skincare/wellness) friends or acquaintances ask me when I tell them what I do is “why would anyone do that?”  I give them general answers, but the truth is that most people do it because of love.

We, as humans, have the innate NEED to love and be loved. Love looks differently to different people. The point is that we all seek out love. But what does anal bleaching have to do with love? Well, for most of us, love is expressed through our sexuality. Just like love looks differently to different people, so does sexuality. And when people have sex, there are certain body parts that are exposed in ways that can make a lot of people feel too exposed, vulnerable and self-conscious.

Most clients that come to me for Intimate Skin Bleaching (I prefer to use the term “Intimate Skin Bleaching” because it also includes the vaginal area and other areas the client might consider intimate or private) are women who have recently gotten divorced and are now back in the dating scene. Others have been single and celibate for years, and they’ve decided it’s time to become sexually active again. I’ve had clients who have met their new “lovers” in another country, and after a time having a long distance relationship, they’ve decided to get together and make the encounter “special” by making sure that their intimate parts look they way they think their partners will like. As you can see, these are all cases of people yearning to be accepted and loved.

Another characteristic of Intimate Skin Bleaching clients is the day when they call to schedule an appointment.  In my experience, most calls come in on a holiday; and it’s become sort of an inside joke between my boyfriend and I. Whenever my telephone rings on a holiday (and I don’t recognize the number), my boyfriend says “someone needs anal bleaching.”  And low and behold, he is correct. And let me clarify, although we make light of the situation, we have seriously discussed the possible reasons as to why this may be happening. And we have come up with the theory that perhaps people feel lonely on holidays, and that gives them time to ruminate and focus on what’s “wrong” with them, causing them to go beyond the physical and look further into their most intimate areas. This, dear reader, is not funny at all.

Low self-esteem is definitely the culprit of why people seek out Intimate Skin Bleaching services.  And while women (and some men) deal with self-esteem issues as they relate to their intimate body parts, there are, on the other side, a group of people who vilify those who offer such service or products.  I’ve been “attacked” by some of these people who tell me that I encourage low self-esteem.

I disagree. Firstly, I have come to understand the reasons why people seek me out – they want to be accepted and loved. I’ve learned this from my hundreds of conversations with clients about their lives and what they’re willing to share with me over the phone (voluntarily and without being prompted) as to why they “need” Intimate Skin Bleaching – the “acceptance and love” that we’ve been talking about.  Secondly, I have found out, through trial and error and research, those ingredients that are effective yet safe for the client’s health. Thirdly, because of my training as a Health Educator, I am able to provide proper counseling as to the risks of such treatment, including conversations about self-esteem. And lastly, I am empathetic and project, through my actions, that I do care about their physical as well as their emotional well-being, while also projecting a non-judgmental attitude. These last behaviors are what the client is also looking for as part of that “acceptance/love”: empathy, caring and non-judgment.

There are indeed unethical providers and product manufacturers out there. And yes, there are indeed commercials that perpetuate low self-esteem by exploiting the feelings of the characters through rejection simply because their skin is not “light enough”.  However, in a world full of people who are emotionally affected through these media images and messages, there are other qualified and properly-trained professionals who are able to provide Intimate Skin Bleaching services in a compassionate manner and discuss with clients the importance of self love.

Does it matter what size?

I came across this blog and just had to share.  I don’t follow celebrities too much these days, but apparently, Tim Gunn (Project Runway) criticized Kirstie Alley for being a size 10 (or whatever). Of course, it HAD to be a OLD man…but back to the point, WTF is this old fart doing criticizing Kirstie Alley for her dress size.  The woman is 62 years old, for gods sake!!! She is smoking HOT!  But the reason why I am sharing this blog is because the writing is superb! This has got to be one of the best written blogs ever. To the point, concise and clear, and most of all…AWAKENING!

http://www.blogher.com/dear-tim-gunn-does-it-really-matter-what-size-her-dress

WHAT IS BEAUTY, REALLY?

BEAUTY THROUGHOUT THE AGES

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The dictionary will tell you that beauty is “a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic sense, especially the sight.”  However, beauty could be more skin-deep because the second definition provided in the dictionary states that beauty is “a combination of qualities that pleases the intellect and moral sense.”  

So, can beauty be defined by age, gender, color, body shape or size? Who gets to decide? Are there objective standards of beauty? Or is beauty in the eye of the beholder?

Multibillion-dollar beauty and fashion industries both shape and depend on the cult-like worship of what physical attributes are considered beautiful. And for the most part, it is women the ones that feel the effects of those decisions.

Dr. Robert Tornambe, a NYC Plastic Surgeon, said in an article published in the HoffPost that “the word ‘beauty’ is the most overused, misunderstood, poorly defined word in the English language.”  He explained, from his own experience, that beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but in the perception of the beholder.  Because we all have different tastes – and because we have been exposed to cultures that perceive beauty in different ways – this affects the definition and perception of beauty.  If in our society, the perception is that a blonde is prettier than a brunette, then we will believe that same perception.  But because we have different tastes, this (mass) perception, in turn, creates confusion, especially for women who are bombarded with advertisements of how she is supposed to look.  And we tend to look at impossible celebrity role models of beauty who pay a (tax deductible) fortune on their image. 

I am an advocate of the second definition of beauty.  Women are more than a look.  Encouraging our daughters to feel proud of how smart, bold, confident, brave, strong, talented and funny they are or can be should be our priority.  After all, society will continue bombarding them with impossible, unattainable images that will only damage their self-esteem.

Dr. Tornambe stated that each woman has a Beauty Quotient (BQ) which is comprised of three distinct categories:

1) Physical Health – examples of how to keep healthy are regular Pap Smears, breast exams, a healthy diet, regular exercises, dental health, etc

2) Psychological Health – involves one’s personality, sense of humor, intelligence, attitude toward life, level of confidence and seriously taking care of any mental health issue present.

3) Personal Appearance – This is your beauty routine which should include a good skincare regimen, hair and makeup routines, wardrobe, posture and style.

Any woman is capable of raising “her Beauty Quotient significantly by simply tweaking various elements within these categories.”  “So much of a woman’s beauty is under her direct control. Learn to take control!”

Oscar Wilde said: You don’t love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.

Intimate Skin Bleaching

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When I tell friends that I offer Intimate Skin Bleaching as one of my state-of-the-art services, I get several reactions: most people don’t know what it is and I need to explain; or I get a disgusted look followed by “why would anyone do THAT?”; or I get the naughty look followed by “Oh, really?”  I have been asked to write a blog about it because people are really curious about what this service really entails and also to dispel some myths.

Intimate Skin Bleaching as the term implies, is skin bleaching of intimate areas, namely the vulva (the outer vaginal area) and anus – sometimes the nipples as well, but it really encompasses all areas a person might consider intimate: underarms, under the breasts, and also testicular and groin areas.  It has been considered a niche service for the adult entertainment industry and gay community.

History:

The first people to try Intimate Skin Bleaching – specifically anal bleaching – were the women and men in the adult entertainment industry in order to make their private parts look better on camera.  With the advent of HD (high definition) TV, the demand for this treatment among this group of people has dramatically increased.

Mainstream Hollywood film stars soon adopted this treatment once nudity became more prevalent in movies.   But what caused intimate skin bleaching to go mainstream in society was the introduction of Brazilian waxing.  As more people discover Brazilian waxing, the more they need to pay attention to how they look once the hair is removed.  Brazilian waxing is a waxing technique where all pubic hair is removed, leaving the area completely hairless.  Seeing their pubic skin uncovered for the first time, and noticing the  skin’s discoloration (which is common and normal), many women – and sometimes men – feel the need that this area needs to match the color of the rest of their skin.

Causes:

Identify the cause of discoloration first.  Discoloration of the anal and vaginal areas can be caused by aging, hormonal changes from pregnancy, infections and medical conditions such as Contact Dermatitis and Syphilis.  A thorough consultation to determine the contraindications is necessary. So if you have this procedure performed and your skincare professional doesn’t do a consultation related specifically to the areas to be bleached, this is probably not the place you want to get this treatment done. Always consult a doctor before requesting a bleaching procedure if you suspect that the discoloration is due to health issues.

The use of G-strings, not only makes the rectal opening more visible, hence the need for some women to bleach the anal area, but the actual use of G-strings causes the anal (and vaginal) area to become darker with the rubbing of the material (usually nylon) against the skin, causing laceration or burning of the skin.  So, women who are frequent users of G-strings tend to have darker anal and vaginal areas.

In general, anything that produces heat, inflammation, laceration, and friction may cause hyperpigmentation, also known as Post-Inflammatory Hyperpigmentation (PIH).

How does it work:

Melanin, a chemical naturally produced by our bodies, darkens skin color as a natural protectant from the sun. The more melanin produced, the darker the skin.

In order to achieve lasting lightening, you cannot just whiten or “bleach” the top layer of skin as it will eventually slough off and expose the layers of natural (darker) skin below. Ingredients such as Azelaic Acid, Lactic Acid,  Retonic Acid, Salycylic Acid and Pyruvic Acid, gently lighten the skin and reduce the activity of Tyrosinase (the enzyme responsible for skin darkening) in the lower layers of the skin.  Soothing anti-oxidant agents such as Vitamin C, Bearberry extract, Licorice extract and Mulberry extract provide a gentle moisturizing treatment to protect, while continuing to lighten the skin.  As newer skin comes to the surface, you see a lighter skin tone that blends with the natural skin tone.

NOTE: Bleaching agents temporarily lighten skin color, but exposure to ultra violet rays may re-oxidize the skin, creating a darker appearance than before. This is a simplified reason why most skin bleaching or fading products warn against exposure to sunlight immediately after application.

Risks

Don’t settle for the cheapest intimate skin bleaching procedure.  Because intimate skin bleaching is rising in popularity, expect a lot of skin care businesses to offer such procedure. Don’t compromise quality with price.

The next thing you need to consider is the ingredient to be used during the intimate skin bleaching procedure. Don’t use products containing hydroquinone.  Products that contain hydroquinone are believed to be linked with negative side effects such as liver damage, thyroid problems and cancer. Prolonged use of hydroquinone can thicken collagen fibers, resulting in a spotty skin appearance and can cause a scary skin disease called ochronosis.

Mercury is another toxic ingredient.  Most people don’t stop to think about what’s in their skincare products before applying it on their skin.  Mercury inhibits the skin’s production of melanin, lightening the skin area where it is applied. While mercury is not permitted in cosmetics made in the United States and Europe, beware of purchases made online (Amazon or eBay) or the origin of the product.  Long term mercury use strips skin of its natural pigment. Prolonged exposure can cause cancer, mercury poisoning, liver or kidney failure.

Also consider the risks after your procedure is done. If you are like most people seeking this service, you probably seek this treatment to look good for your sexual partner. Sex comes after intimate skin bleaching. Please be aware that this procedure DOES and WILL make you more susceptible to STDs and HV infection during the course of treatment.

Types of Intimate Skin Bleaching: Laser and Cryogenic Intimate Skin Bleaching are light-based and extreme cold treatments, and are by far the most expensive methods of Intimate Skin Bleaching – but also the easiest way to see instant results.  However, it can be painful – with pain ranging from being repeatedly slapped with a rubber band for several minutes at a time to pain that requires local anesthetic for weeks.  It can also cause irritation, blistering or peeling, may leave scars and results are not always consistent.

Spa-Based Skin Lightening: Most places offer this treatment for $100-150 and you must purchase a bleaching solution to use at home. The whole in-spa process takes about 20 minutes.  Depending on how dark your skin is, you may need to reapply a number of times to see results. Some people recommend treatments for at least eight weeks.

DIY (Do-it-yourself): There are various products in the market that people can use to bleach their intimate areas at home.  Most of them are more or less effective, however, beware of their ingredients even if they claim that dangerous ingredients such as hydroquinone are safe. Also beware of products you purchase online. Some of them are not European or American products, which makes you vulnerable to very dangerous ingredients. 

How is Intimate Skin Bleaching at Bella Dermis different?

We distinguish ourselves by applying the Three “P’s” that will define your Intimate Skin Bleaching experience: privacy, price, and professionalism.

  • Privacy -the anal, testicular and vaginal areas are probably the most private of any area.  Because of this, many people shy away from having someone else work with this sensitive region.  I treat these areas, and your reactions, with great respect and confidentiality. I never share my clients information or lifestyle choices.
  • Price – Spa-based intimate skin bleaching treatments often cost more than $150 per visit, and it’s the norm to visit a spa 6 or 7 times over the course of treatment, not to mention any “maintenance” treatments in the future.  We offer a more affordable health-conscious solution to intimate discoloration.  I believe that certain services should be easily accessible to everyone.
  • Professionalism – While we will never encourage anyone’s self-esteem – even more so women’s – we also understand that for many people, this procedure makes them feel sexier and more confident.  Therefore, we provide Intimate Skin Bleaching in a non-judgmental, empathic, professional and confidential manner. As a Certified Sexuality and Health Educator and Certified HIV Test Counselor, I place emphasis on confidentiality, empathy and non-judgment.